c_a_r_o_l
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Metro: Brisbane
Birthday: 11/28/1985
Gender: Female


Interests: (mingling)(accessorising)(eating out)(holidaying)(**GLAM**)(bumming around)(daydreaming)(afroken)(swarovski)(vivienne westwood)(mahjonging)(horoscopes)(etc etc)


Expertise: (being me)(i am me)(i am lazy)(i am a compulsive junkie)(sooking)(im a bum)(i procrastinate...A LOT) ...lalalaaaaa


i know
what i dont want
BUT
i dont know
what i want


Occupation: Student
Industry: Business


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MSN: carolchan85@hotmail.com
ICQ: 123600897


Member Since: 10/15/2003

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Tuesday, November 03, 2009

幸福的小女人

唔喺我

caught up with a good good good highschool friend on msn last night...its been what 3, 4, 5 years since we last spoke or made contact....last i knew was she was studying in melb..in fact i was the one who sent her off to the airport.... last person to say goodbye before she left brissie..eventually lost contact, as you do

anyways to my surprise, shes no longer in melbourne...went back to china...but more importantly, shes married!!! 太幸福啦!! actually shes coming back/visiting next month (for honeymoon im presuming) and she said she wants me to meet 'him'...可惜喺 ive never met this guy, never heard and wasnt there to witness the blossoming of their relationship...but he sure is one lucky guy thats for sure!!

im sooo sooo soo happy for her....thinking back to highschool days, how we'd talk and laugh about growing up....working at sushi mania together...being each others 最佳park dong at work XD the boss loved us!! shes such a lovely girl...tho she was an international student, but that didnt stop her from talking and involving herself..and she'd always thank me for talking to her haha silly..honestly ah, i have to thank her also i mean if it wasnt for her, i would've never picked up mandarin (tho its quite rusty now)..plus she was the one who encouraged me to date my first unofficial bf hahah.....oh the days....funny just thinking back..

but from our brief catchup last night, i can tell that she definitely couldnt be happier...and im just as excited for her....開心到 like a mama watching her child grow LOL

at the same time, i cant help but not have this incy sinking feeling

a) coz ive come to realise ive well and truly entered that stage where friends around me are getting married, having kids, starting families what not (yes its happening!) hai ah..old la...im about to turn 2 zodiac cycles old soon enough too...OMG..

b) makes me wonder, what about me? will i ever be fortunate enough to find myself blissfully in love also? or really, 我嫁唔嫁得出leh~~

lets just say, im 好羨慕, 好妒忌 lor HAHHA

ngor lin lei sheung dui jerng dow mo =.=" gei grey ga~ ngor gei see sin yuu dow ngor gor 真命天子 prince charming?? ding hai e ging yuu jor, zi gei mm gg? ding hai jau jor?!?

dim guy d yan park tor hor yi yuet park yuet ho, yuet park yuet yun ngoi? 

i know its hard enough having two individual coming together, sharing the same feel for each other and actually getting sth out of it....jun hai ho larn duk, yiu ho ho jun sik ah!! and marriage needless to say is like wow! sharing the commitment for the rest of your life...to care and be cared for, to love and be loved...to be that one and only special someone for now and forever....

dim dow ho la...im just really genuinely happy for her....lai rui ping (錯啦 should be 劉太太) huge congrats and many happy returns XD

meanwhile i will still keep on hoping and believe in 'happily ever after'...one day, one day i say*


Sunday, November 01, 2009

我考完試啦

no more study for the year....hing soong sai....but still have to wait for results in nov/dec? before there is really sth to celebrate about...really not confident with insolvency aye....yuck! worried ga and scared tim..i dont know how i'll take it if i do fail...it will be a very big dar dik....really ga...its like a fear....genuine fear...theres a lot i get worried about and this is one of them...the fear of disappointing friends, family and myself too...

must admit, its def good to have one thing less to worry about tho hopefully i can put the stress behind me, get more good sleep, relax a bit more, hormones settle so i dont get random breakouts again HAHAH

went out first thing friday to celebrate my newfound freedom (somewhat) fiday night, had a great night until the day after..mm gg leh....gork duk ji gei jun hai yum dor jor..acted and behaved not the usual me...and thats what im annoyed at myself for....i feel like an ass..i feel embarassed, i feel wrong?? i think i get too caught up in the moment and then it makes me feel rude....i become way too carefree, cant self protect (not that way, but like mm sik ji bo), end up trusting pplz around me too easily (and maybe some i shouldnt even trust to start off with - i mean, heck how well do i know the person?) so its all fun and games during the night until you cop the consequences the day after...when you regain some common sense and realise...gzz carol shame on you - would you have really done that if it was the usual you? chances are no...

makes me wonder, why do i allow myself to go through that leh? all in the name of fun? i guess the saying 'under the influence' describes it perfectly (very tip chit)

so yes thats my random thoughts for tonight

moving along tho..i think november will be a busy month with celebrations...bdays..catchups...the lot!! really hope to be hoi sum d and also with for everyone around me to be happy also...hope worries will come and go, problems get resolved, and that we all learn to be stronger to deal with all the challenges ahead of us


Monday, October 26, 2009

so whilst my motivation is lost with procrastination, i decided nows a good time to drop a quick xanga entry....besides it seems that this has become a religious thing anyway....updating xanga when i should be better off studying..hmm...

havent been up to much these days, prolly been on FB too much for my own good, digging out olddddddddd photos from my photo collection and cant help but laugh and miss the old times...getting out of work has been awesome tho....have really treated this like a mini holiday (minus the fun part) doing a lottttttttttttt of reading (which is sth i dont particularly enjoy)...so much reading that i think my eyes are going to bleed soon HAHAHA

other than that, i consider my lifestyle to be relatively disciplined...so disciplined that i feel im starting to become a tad antisocial....havent really stepped out the house to do anything, see anyone whatsoever....whats even scarier is that even when pplz call/talk to me, i dont even feel like talking back....think ive completely gone into shutdown mode =.=" not sure whether its a good/bad thing, but ive quite enjoyed this personal time and space...that said, there are ofcoz those times i feel so incredibly lonely and frustrated...and dislike these stupid restrictions ive imposed on myself....i'll get over it tho, eventually.

anywayz off with that...dad reminded me its my bday soon...yes..i know >< makes me think, damn wheres my year gone? what have i done with my life? can i not grow up? in fact, can i turn back time...back to primary school days when my grandparents were with me, when i was more naive, when i had not a worry in the world, when i was just genuinely happier, simply because??? 

now i know we cant change anything from the past, but we can control our future...but realistically, is it possible? why cant we prevent unhappy things from happening? seeing that we can choose how we lead our life, why is it that we still find ourselves being discontent with what we have now? why does it seem that there is always going to be something missing....really makes me wonder, will we ever be blissfully happy?


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

do you believe in horoscopes?

on a totally different note though..just did one of those random horoscope quizzes...coz im bored HA! being the saggi girl i am...was curious to see who i am most compatible with? well i always assumed/knew leo's ranked highly...but the results showed this

 

☆第一名:白羊座
一見面就留下美好的印象。


☆第二名:獅子座
跟他約會是你最快樂的。

☆第三名:雙子座
抵擋不住他的魅力,深深為他著迷。

made me reflect

1) Aries - interesting discovery....indeed there are pplz who have left footprints in my life...and have made that lasting impression...some pplz who i'll never forget

2) Leo - what can I say..ex was one of them....

3) Gemini - captured by the charm...too true too true..

 

Its funny isnt it....how can it be that your birthmonth can determine your character/personality...i know its only a generalisation but oddly enough, there is always sth we can agree/relate to...whats more interesting is that your birthmonth also analyses who you're most compatible with...not sure about you, but again, i tend to agree on the predictions..so weird so weird.. as i say, sometimes its the more you 'ying zhu', the more real it seems LOL....anywayz...


counting the days

but ging but gork..its october already...yes crunch time!!

received my pre-seen info for one of my CPA exams in the mail just yday..crap!! the time is near...cant wait till october is over...hopefully by the end of it, i will come out less stressed, with less things to worry about, less pointless thoughts...i want to come out with a clear mind, refocused and refreshed..i no longer want to count/miss the things i dont have but instead appreciate the things that i do have

had quite a few DMs with close fds recently..come to notice that we all have our own little problems and our own ways dealing with it (no correction i should say knew all along but its interesting to see how many pplz have issues like myself...i mean we're all plagued!!) HAHA im not alone! is it the age really? or is it sth else? mid life crisis? quarter life crisis? am i asking too much?

guess its comforting to know that there are pplz who understand and who genuinely care....not just those pplz who come and go, be nice to you when they feel like it, too seasonal..too spontaneous...

anywayz its effectively my last wk of work until november...will be out of the office on study leave and away on this global tax conference all the way out in hidden vale....very glad im getting a break from work (other than genuinely needing one) coz im well and truly over it.... im tired...tired from it all...

so CHAN KAR YEE...stay focused...be studious, be productive, dont think about anything else....everything else can wait till november...mm ho joi lum mai dd mo wai yeh la :)



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